Let me start by stating that I am venting. I am writing down my emotions as a therapeutic tool to clear my head and also to reach out to see if anyone who might be reading this can relate. My intention is to obtain support and encouragement, not criticism or disdain.
Perhaps The Ramones best sum up my emotions at this moment:
"Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated
Just get me to the airport put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers I can't control my brain
Oh no no no no no..."
I feel overwhelmed and lost. Yesterday was Thanksgiving and, despite numerous reminders to DH, he forgot the focus of the day. Instead he bitched about how the house was a disaster, laundry was started and not finished, the kitchen was a a mess from my cooking the night before, the kids' illnesses were making him sick, that I needed to stop babying Little m and put him in his crib (more on this later), his mom still hadn't received photos from our trip, and so on...He failed to see that we had moved two weeks before we went on vacation. While he returned from vacation, I was visiting with family and friends in the Bluegrass. Overall, I was away for almost three weeks. The boys got sick on the trip and only napped in the car or in bed next to me (read: I got little to no sleep for two weeks straight). Neither Big M nor Little m had been eating much with their illnesses, so Little m only wanted to nurse (read: it is exhausting making enough nourishments to feed a nearly 12 month old, but I love that I can provide it and it comforts him). I have carpal tunnel syndrome and tennis elbow--which are both strained by holding 24+ pounds of baby most of the day. Overall, sleep deprivation and constant aches and pains are both physically and mentally exhausted and nothing I do seems to be good enough.
Nothing I do seems to matter. I feel like DH is my third child. So long as his needs are met--above our children's needs--he is moderately content. He comes home from work and critiques me on every little thing and informs me on how his way is so much better--as if I have time to constantly appease him. He refuses to help me bathe the boys and the only way he feeds them is if it is something quick and easy (and minimally messy) that they can feed themselves (read: cereal bars, crackers, etc. When the baby cries, he almost always thinks he is hungry and wants to nurse, but then he complains that the baby almost always wants me to hold him. He offers to take Big M to school (part time--hooray), but only if I rush to feed him breakfast, dress him, and pack his lunch. To me, it feels like my job it to make DH's life easier. Is it selfish to think that I should be granted equal respect?
Why is it my job to constantly sacrifice myself and put my own needs last? When I try to speak with DH, he twists things around and tries to make me feel guilty for needing some alone time. We have no extra money (I currently have $12 in checking and he made me clear out my savings account--a whopping $300--to pay bills). We rent a very nice house and drive nice cars, but we use most of his monthly income for it. I do not understand why we have to have the big house and nice cars if we cannot afford them and he refuses to pay anyone for the upkeep (I am free labor, right?!?). Why do we ever need a date night or time away from the kids to connect when we can constantly bicker and take one another for granted?!?
Things really need to change before I become any more resentful and bitter than I already am. I need a partner who treats me like an equal (or at least close to it), who treats me with respect and does not call me names or belittle me to get what he wants, and who respects my opinion enough to listen to logic and not back us into impossibly stressful situations that aren't necessary. I need a partner to swallow his pride and occasionally do things that make him uncomfortable (read: exercising and eating well to improve his quality of life, taking time for himself and letting his mind rest on occasion, taking time to enjoy his kids playing and ignoring that it might be something
he doesn't want to do.) I need a partner who can find happiness in the little things in life and not always seem like he is miserable. Misery is difficult to be with and can make it hard to be relaxed and happy.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
An Anniversary of Something I'd Like to Forget
Fall is starting to peek its head around the corner here. The mornings and nights are cooler and there are fewer tourists here. This week Big M started a new school three days a week after staying home all summer. Little m and I are getting into a routine while Big M gets some much needed peer time and Mommy gets a bit of a break from one of her two busy little rugrats. I have the kids 99% of the time and D is still working like a mad man. Regardless of the hustle and bustle, I am optimistic that this fall will be our turning point to settle in and enjoy more family time on the Cape.
I absolutely love this time of year. The fall marks the start of school, Halloween, and Thanksgiving--my favorite holiday. Back to school reminds me of my first semester at the University of Kentucky back in 1996. Working at UK until last November when Little m was born kept me in the loop with the academic calendar. As much as I loved seeing new students, I did not like the traffic that they brought with them and will not miss it. This is the first fall in 15 years that I have been away from Lexington. I kinda miss the Big Blue Nation and fall football tailgating.
This weekend marks a very tragic and eventful occurrence in American history. September 11, 2001 was a horrific day for all Americans, especially for those who lost a friend or family member. It is difficult to fathom that this is the tenth anniversary of 9/11, for I can remember it just like it happened last week or last month. My heart goes out to all those who lost someone during 9/11.
As much as I love the fall, it wasn't always this way for me...The fall, 9/11, and this time of year in general have weighed on me for other reasons. The dreaded 9/11 is very personal to me for another reason that started back in 1993. I was 15 and a sophomore in high school in a small town in Kentucky. My parents were divorced and I lived with my father and brothers. My dad liked to make our weekends together very special and our Saturday night ritual usually consisted of dinner, a movie, and then a trip to the grocery or occasionally shopping at the mall in a larger town nearby. We spent quality time together and it was great. He often let me bring along a friend so I wouldn't feel like a total teenage dork out with her father on a Saturday night.
Saturday, September 11, 1993 was not much different from any other Saturday, or at least it didn't start out to be. Dad took another girl and I out for the evening and then she convinced him to let me stay at her house for the night. We had alternate plans of which my father knew nothing. He didn't usually like me to stay overnight because he couldn't protect me or trust me, but for some reason he liked this girl and he trusted her.
I remember going to another guy's house where he was having a small get together. He had graduated high school, as had many of his friends, and there were also quite a few high school girls. There was alcohol at the party. This wasn't the first time I had drank, nor would it be the last. I was 15 (this pivotal age keeps repeating itself in my head. As a mother, I realize that I was still a child at 15 and had no business drinking). I was 15 and I was drinking some sort of bourbon or whiskey. There were older guys there, as I had already mentioned, and many of the girls were acquaintances and not necessarily friends of mine.
I remember a guy that I had a crush on being at the party. We never really spoke much because I was shy around guys. Once I got a few drinks in me I became rather uninhibited and became really chatty and outgoing. My crush had a friend there "L" who kept trying to get my attention, especially after I drunkenly confessed that I was a virgin and I wanted to stay that way until I was married--hey, I was a Catholic girl in a rural, conservative town in the South. That is what every respectful Catholic girl did, right? I remember feeling sick and trying to get to the bathroom. A couple was in there fooling around and I couldn't get in the bathroom in time. "L" offered to take me outside to get some fresh air after I vomited all over the floor. What a valiant guy!
Many of the events that happened after this are still a bit fuzzy for me. I remember the cool fall air on the face. I remember an RV being parked outside. I remember getting something from L's truck. I remember going into the RV. I remember L climbing on top of me. I don't remember kissing him. I remember L being naked. I remember pain. I remember blacking out. Then I remember being dropped off in the wee hours of the night at the girl's house by the guy who had the party. I remember trying to tell her what happened and her being excited that I had lost my virginity. I remember being really confused because I was not at all excited. I felt guilty, used, and very confused.
I went home the next day very hungover and laid in my bed the rest of the day. I was too young and too embarrassed to tell an adult what had happened. I was surrounded by a house full of guys. All I heard them talk about was girls and sex. In a small town, if you are drinking and you have sex then you probably wanted it. I thought it was my fault and I deserved it.
I dove into depression for at least six months. I did not want another guy to touch me. I was damaged goods. I was no longer a virgin and was not good enough for anyone else. I kept all of these emotions inside me and shared them with no one else. I went about my life on the outside business as usual while I stopped studying because I could no longer concentrate and my self-esteem and self-worth plummeted. All anyone else knew was that I was drunk and had sex. I still made good grades and was a cheerleader. I was popular and still snuck away to parties to drink. I didn't even realize that I had been raped. I was raped! It actually took me ten years, yes, ten years to fully understand that I was raped. I spent ten years being depressed and hiding behind alcohol to justify any stupid thing I did. I was a mess and I hid it well.
At age 25, I went to the doctor for a physical and was asked a series of questions. One of the questions pertained to rape. I answered in the affirmative. She asked if I had ever received counseling for it and I answered no. She then asked if I would like to receive counseling for rape and I answered yes. That's all it took; someone just had to ask. I then received the counseling that I needed to understand what had happened, why it had happened, and why it shouldn't define me or my worth.
Let this be a cautionary tale to all you mothers and fathers who may read this! Know your kid's friends. Know their families. Regardless of what you are experiencing in your personal life, be it single or married, be involved and aware of who your kids are spending their time with and what they are doing. Do not be so wrapped up in your own depression, etc. that you ignore who your daughters or sons befriend. I had every intention of getting drunk that night. I had lied to my father. I had chosen to hang out with someone who was known to have a reputation. I was going to a party with much older guys. And I was a virgin. I was too young to understand the repercussions of the choice I had made to drink at a party with older guys.
It was unfortunate that it took ten years for me to acknowledge that my first sexual experience was rape and I made a lot of poor choices in the ten years that followed, but I learned from them and have since moved on in my life. I had a lot of regrets in my life, but now I look back and am glad they are all behind me. I have learned to be accountable for my actions and to surround myself with positive, encouraging, well-intentioned people so that I may encourage my children to make good choices and treat others kindly. I want my sons to respect girls and be well adjusted men one day.
I have chosen not to let this anniversary define me. I will not forget it because it did happen to me, but I will reflect on it a bit and leave it in the past. I have chosen to be happy and to take back the fall to enjoy all of the great things it offers. I have a husband and two beautiful boys who I love very much. I am very blessed and fortunate this fall and am looking forward to many more.
I absolutely love this time of year. The fall marks the start of school, Halloween, and Thanksgiving--my favorite holiday. Back to school reminds me of my first semester at the University of Kentucky back in 1996. Working at UK until last November when Little m was born kept me in the loop with the academic calendar. As much as I loved seeing new students, I did not like the traffic that they brought with them and will not miss it. This is the first fall in 15 years that I have been away from Lexington. I kinda miss the Big Blue Nation and fall football tailgating.
This weekend marks a very tragic and eventful occurrence in American history. September 11, 2001 was a horrific day for all Americans, especially for those who lost a friend or family member. It is difficult to fathom that this is the tenth anniversary of 9/11, for I can remember it just like it happened last week or last month. My heart goes out to all those who lost someone during 9/11.
As much as I love the fall, it wasn't always this way for me...The fall, 9/11, and this time of year in general have weighed on me for other reasons. The dreaded 9/11 is very personal to me for another reason that started back in 1993. I was 15 and a sophomore in high school in a small town in Kentucky. My parents were divorced and I lived with my father and brothers. My dad liked to make our weekends together very special and our Saturday night ritual usually consisted of dinner, a movie, and then a trip to the grocery or occasionally shopping at the mall in a larger town nearby. We spent quality time together and it was great. He often let me bring along a friend so I wouldn't feel like a total teenage dork out with her father on a Saturday night.
Saturday, September 11, 1993 was not much different from any other Saturday, or at least it didn't start out to be. Dad took another girl and I out for the evening and then she convinced him to let me stay at her house for the night. We had alternate plans of which my father knew nothing. He didn't usually like me to stay overnight because he couldn't protect me or trust me, but for some reason he liked this girl and he trusted her.
I remember going to another guy's house where he was having a small get together. He had graduated high school, as had many of his friends, and there were also quite a few high school girls. There was alcohol at the party. This wasn't the first time I had drank, nor would it be the last. I was 15 (this pivotal age keeps repeating itself in my head. As a mother, I realize that I was still a child at 15 and had no business drinking). I was 15 and I was drinking some sort of bourbon or whiskey. There were older guys there, as I had already mentioned, and many of the girls were acquaintances and not necessarily friends of mine.
I remember a guy that I had a crush on being at the party. We never really spoke much because I was shy around guys. Once I got a few drinks in me I became rather uninhibited and became really chatty and outgoing. My crush had a friend there "L" who kept trying to get my attention, especially after I drunkenly confessed that I was a virgin and I wanted to stay that way until I was married--hey, I was a Catholic girl in a rural, conservative town in the South. That is what every respectful Catholic girl did, right? I remember feeling sick and trying to get to the bathroom. A couple was in there fooling around and I couldn't get in the bathroom in time. "L" offered to take me outside to get some fresh air after I vomited all over the floor. What a valiant guy!
Many of the events that happened after this are still a bit fuzzy for me. I remember the cool fall air on the face. I remember an RV being parked outside. I remember getting something from L's truck. I remember going into the RV. I remember L climbing on top of me. I don't remember kissing him. I remember L being naked. I remember pain. I remember blacking out. Then I remember being dropped off in the wee hours of the night at the girl's house by the guy who had the party. I remember trying to tell her what happened and her being excited that I had lost my virginity. I remember being really confused because I was not at all excited. I felt guilty, used, and very confused.
I went home the next day very hungover and laid in my bed the rest of the day. I was too young and too embarrassed to tell an adult what had happened. I was surrounded by a house full of guys. All I heard them talk about was girls and sex. In a small town, if you are drinking and you have sex then you probably wanted it. I thought it was my fault and I deserved it.
I dove into depression for at least six months. I did not want another guy to touch me. I was damaged goods. I was no longer a virgin and was not good enough for anyone else. I kept all of these emotions inside me and shared them with no one else. I went about my life on the outside business as usual while I stopped studying because I could no longer concentrate and my self-esteem and self-worth plummeted. All anyone else knew was that I was drunk and had sex. I still made good grades and was a cheerleader. I was popular and still snuck away to parties to drink. I didn't even realize that I had been raped. I was raped! It actually took me ten years, yes, ten years to fully understand that I was raped. I spent ten years being depressed and hiding behind alcohol to justify any stupid thing I did. I was a mess and I hid it well.
At age 25, I went to the doctor for a physical and was asked a series of questions. One of the questions pertained to rape. I answered in the affirmative. She asked if I had ever received counseling for it and I answered no. She then asked if I would like to receive counseling for rape and I answered yes. That's all it took; someone just had to ask. I then received the counseling that I needed to understand what had happened, why it had happened, and why it shouldn't define me or my worth.
Let this be a cautionary tale to all you mothers and fathers who may read this! Know your kid's friends. Know their families. Regardless of what you are experiencing in your personal life, be it single or married, be involved and aware of who your kids are spending their time with and what they are doing. Do not be so wrapped up in your own depression, etc. that you ignore who your daughters or sons befriend. I had every intention of getting drunk that night. I had lied to my father. I had chosen to hang out with someone who was known to have a reputation. I was going to a party with much older guys. And I was a virgin. I was too young to understand the repercussions of the choice I had made to drink at a party with older guys.
It was unfortunate that it took ten years for me to acknowledge that my first sexual experience was rape and I made a lot of poor choices in the ten years that followed, but I learned from them and have since moved on in my life. I had a lot of regrets in my life, but now I look back and am glad they are all behind me. I have learned to be accountable for my actions and to surround myself with positive, encouraging, well-intentioned people so that I may encourage my children to make good choices and treat others kindly. I want my sons to respect girls and be well adjusted men one day.
I have chosen not to let this anniversary define me. I will not forget it because it did happen to me, but I will reflect on it a bit and leave it in the past. I have chosen to be happy and to take back the fall to enjoy all of the great things it offers. I have a husband and two beautiful boys who I love very much. I am very blessed and fortunate this fall and am looking forward to many more.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
It's May Already?
Hello all! We've moved (again) and are starting to get settled. Still waiting for our house to sell, so we are in a pet-friendly lease to purchase house. That's right. After three months of living in a furnished house, we moved again and have reunited with our fur babies.
Both boys (M&m) have been busy in Massachusetts. Big M started nursery school in March. His age group goes two days a week for about six hours a day. We also joined the local YMCA when Little turned three months old--allowing me to put both boys in child watch while I released some endorphins! Big M has already finished his first swim class at the Y and he loved it!
D really likes his new job, but it has kept him very busy and away from us more than we anticipated. D has been traveling a lot lately, so I have been a single mom. His trips are usually a week in length, so I do what I can to keep Big M busy while continuing to nurse Little m. As long as Big M is busy moving, working a puzzle, watching a video, playing on the iPhone or iPad, or playing with trains he is happy. If he gets bored, he climbs, tries to escape, or help himself to something out of reach; he is very, very smart and busy!
Little m started eating solids last week and he has loved it. He's been ready for a few weeks (grabbing my cup or plate when I ate or drank anything), but I wanted us to move before starting him on rice cereal. After his second bite, he grabbed the spoon and tried to feed himself. He is teething and hungry. D set up Little m's crib after we moved, so I am getting him acclimated to his own bed and hopefully getting him out of ours! He has napped a few times successfully and slept one full night in his crib, but his swollen gums have upset him and the transition is a continuing work in progress. I am looking forward to a few good night's sleep in a row...
That's about it for now. The boys and two moves have kept me extremely busy. Let me know if you would like to visit us in the Cape. The weather is mild and we are walking distance to a recreational pond.
My apologies if I haven't responded to an email or call. It's been pretty hectic with two moves, two kids, two cats, and two dogs...too bad there isn't two of me. Please keep in touch and I will do better about doing the same on my end. Big hugs!
Please note, regarding blog updates and photo sharing: I typed this on my iPhone (it's a lot easier to hold than a laptop when nursing a baby) and will share photos and videos when I am near a computer--you know, in my spare time!
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| Big M and Riley |
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| Big M and Lucky |
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| Big M even rationed his Cheerios to share with the dogs |
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| Jonesy (napping on my sweaters) |
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| Wiccey (testing out Little m's crib) |
Both boys (M&m) have been busy in Massachusetts. Big M started nursery school in March. His age group goes two days a week for about six hours a day. We also joined the local YMCA when Little turned three months old--allowing me to put both boys in child watch while I released some endorphins! Big M has already finished his first swim class at the Y and he loved it!
D really likes his new job, but it has kept him very busy and away from us more than we anticipated. D has been traveling a lot lately, so I have been a single mom. His trips are usually a week in length, so I do what I can to keep Big M busy while continuing to nurse Little m. As long as Big M is busy moving, working a puzzle, watching a video, playing on the iPhone or iPad, or playing with trains he is happy. If he gets bored, he climbs, tries to escape, or help himself to something out of reach; he is very, very smart and busy!
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| M&m playing in the Thomas tent (m is still adjusting to the flash) |
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| M lining up the cookie cutters (an animal train) |
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| M playing with trains |
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| M&m having tummy time |
Little m started eating solids last week and he has loved it. He's been ready for a few weeks (grabbing my cup or plate when I ate or drank anything), but I wanted us to move before starting him on rice cereal. After his second bite, he grabbed the spoon and tried to feed himself. He is teething and hungry. D set up Little m's crib after we moved, so I am getting him acclimated to his own bed and hopefully getting him out of ours! He has napped a few times successfully and slept one full night in his crib, but his swollen gums have upset him and the transition is a continuing work in progress. I am looking forward to a few good night's sleep in a row...
That's about it for now. The boys and two moves have kept me extremely busy. Let me know if you would like to visit us in the Cape. The weather is mild and we are walking distance to a recreational pond.
My apologies if I haven't responded to an email or call. It's been pretty hectic with two moves, two kids, two cats, and two dogs...too bad there isn't two of me. Please keep in touch and I will do better about doing the same on my end. Big hugs!
Please note, regarding blog updates and photo sharing: I typed this on my iPhone (it's a lot easier to hold than a laptop when nursing a baby) and will share photos and videos when I am near a computer--you know, in my spare time!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
On the Road Again...and Under Pressure
What a crazy week it's been here. We found out last Friday that moving will come a month earlier for us. We have to be out of our rental by the end of the month and D is traveling a lot this month. We were originally supposed to stay through May, but our landlady sold her second home and the family needs a place to stay for Memorial Day weekend near the ocean. Yes, this is their summer rental--AKA third house. What a predicament for them, right?!?
We would like to find a place that allows pets so they can join us from where they are kenneled out of state. Also, we cannot buy until our house sells in KY so this might not be our last move.
We have spent the last two weekends looking at houses. We would prefer to not move again, so we are looking at lease to buy options--which are few. We are also hoping to buy something that will not require many upgrades or maintenance, as we really do not have the time or money to do so at this time.
This situation has put a lot of stress and pressure on us. On top of D's work, caring for two kids and household responsibilities, following rental and real estate leads, and negotiating between realtors, this leaves little to no time for us to connect. It is ironic how we tend to push the buttons of those we love the most and hold so near and dear to our hearts when under pressure. Alas, there is at least a month of stress and more major changes coming for us.
I am trying to focus on the kids and not think too much about everything else. As difficult as it is, I need to try and remain calm for my hubby and the kids. Life isn't going to stop for us, so it's best to make the most of the situation. I love my husband and I love my boys. We are going to get through this and will be better off in the end. There is an end in sight and I look forward to getting there very soon.
Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?
Marlin: No I don't wanna know.
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
Marlin: Dory, no singing.
Dory: [continuing] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim.
Marlin: Now I'm stuck with that song... Now it's in my head.
Dory: Sorry.
Finding Nemo (2003)
Marlin: No I don't wanna know.
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
Marlin: Dory, no singing.
Dory: [continuing] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim.
Marlin: Now I'm stuck with that song... Now it's in my head.
Dory: Sorry.
Finding Nemo (2003)
Monday, March 28, 2011
What's Going On?
Sorry I've been MIA lately. It's been quite hectic. Here's a bit of what's been going on around here.
The carpal tunnel syndrome and tennis elbow that I had while pregnant has not subsided. I joined the local YMCA a few weeks ago in hopes that exercise would help, but I actually feel worse. I'm trying various exercises and also NDAIDS and stretches. It worries me that the pain and numbness might be much worse when I'm older. Big M is over 40 pounds and is starting to look like a little man. Little m is 17 pounds and long. My neck constantly hurts from nursing and from lifting them. My big fellas are both very sweet though. ;-D
We've all been sick here. Big M was sick about four weeks ago. The rest of us got sick a few weeks ago. I took Little m to the doctor twice at the onset of his illness just to avoid another hospital stay. It's viral, so there's nothing to do but make him comfortable. It's very similar to the bug we had in January, but Little m has managed to cough up the mucous and not strain to breath. We have all had hacking coughs and our ears and nose have been congested. I look forward to feeling better and getting some sleep soon.
Big M has been in nursery school almost a month. He goes twice a week and seems to like it. I opted for extended days so he can get more interaction, as he bores easily with me. He really likes the older kids' afternoon room because it has a wooden train set. The playground has sand and the weather has been nice, so he's been outside a lot. He loves playing outside and is very much in a train phase right now.
Big M also likes the child watch at the YMCA. He really likes being around other kids. We started swimming lessons and he really likes the pool. I started leaving his vest off so he wouldn't have a false sense of security and will get used to his own buoyancy. It is vital to keep him busy and I have finally found some successful activities for him.
Got him some wipe off pre-K books and a book with accompanying music. I am hoping he will start sitting down a bit for me, even though he is only two. He tends to learn more via interactive toys and songs, so I am going to try some new tactics. The sit down and learn trick didn't cut it for him and it frustrated me. He's much too smart and busy for this! He really likes to hum and sing, so I will incorporate music into the lesson.
We have only had two house showings. I don't think they have actually had an open house yet! I am disappointed with our realtor. A lot of their actions are automated and they don't seem to know what is going on; also a lack of communication between personnel and a slow follow up. Many of the things they told us never happened. We are getting nervous, as our rental house is booked for May and the rental prices go up five fold or more during the peak season. Also, I miss the cats and dogs so much. Big M was actually looking for the cats in the basement the other day. He gets excited every time we see a dog or cat. I wish we were in a house of our own, weren't living out of boxes, and had our critters with us.
Are you still awake or did I put you to sleep? Here are some photos to make you smile.
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
-Winston Churchill
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
-Winston Churchill
The carpal tunnel syndrome and tennis elbow that I had while pregnant has not subsided. I joined the local YMCA a few weeks ago in hopes that exercise would help, but I actually feel worse. I'm trying various exercises and also NDAIDS and stretches. It worries me that the pain and numbness might be much worse when I'm older. Big M is over 40 pounds and is starting to look like a little man. Little m is 17 pounds and long. My neck constantly hurts from nursing and from lifting them. My big fellas are both very sweet though. ;-D
We've all been sick here. Big M was sick about four weeks ago. The rest of us got sick a few weeks ago. I took Little m to the doctor twice at the onset of his illness just to avoid another hospital stay. It's viral, so there's nothing to do but make him comfortable. It's very similar to the bug we had in January, but Little m has managed to cough up the mucous and not strain to breath. We have all had hacking coughs and our ears and nose have been congested. I look forward to feeling better and getting some sleep soon.
Big M has been in nursery school almost a month. He goes twice a week and seems to like it. I opted for extended days so he can get more interaction, as he bores easily with me. He really likes the older kids' afternoon room because it has a wooden train set. The playground has sand and the weather has been nice, so he's been outside a lot. He loves playing outside and is very much in a train phase right now.
Big M also likes the child watch at the YMCA. He really likes being around other kids. We started swimming lessons and he really likes the pool. I started leaving his vest off so he wouldn't have a false sense of security and will get used to his own buoyancy. It is vital to keep him busy and I have finally found some successful activities for him.
Got him some wipe off pre-K books and a book with accompanying music. I am hoping he will start sitting down a bit for me, even though he is only two. He tends to learn more via interactive toys and songs, so I am going to try some new tactics. The sit down and learn trick didn't cut it for him and it frustrated me. He's much too smart and busy for this! He really likes to hum and sing, so I will incorporate music into the lesson.
We have only had two house showings. I don't think they have actually had an open house yet! I am disappointed with our realtor. A lot of their actions are automated and they don't seem to know what is going on; also a lack of communication between personnel and a slow follow up. Many of the things they told us never happened. We are getting nervous, as our rental house is booked for May and the rental prices go up five fold or more during the peak season. Also, I miss the cats and dogs so much. Big M was actually looking for the cats in the basement the other day. He gets excited every time we see a dog or cat. I wish we were in a house of our own, weren't living out of boxes, and had our critters with us.
Are you still awake or did I put you to sleep? Here are some photos to make you smile.
-Winston Churchill
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
-Winston Churchill
Friday, March 25, 2011
In Search of Vanilla
Tonight is my FIRST outing since Little m arrived. It is a planned outing with ladies, no kids, and no husbands. The theme is karaoke and wine. I am so excited!
I plan to bring cookies. Nursing a baby always leaves me craving sweets, so I might as well bring enough to share. Never go to someone's home empty handed, right?
One of the simplest cookies to make is no bake cookies. There are about eight ingredients and no baking required. In addition, it contains two of my favorite ingredients: chocolate and oatmeal.
The boys were sleeping, so now was the time to make the cookies. I removed the butter from the fridge to soften (an ideal trick for successful baking) and then proceeded to lay out the other ingredients. Then came the vanilla. I hadn't yet found the vanilla among the multitude of boxes in the basement. How hard could it be to find a bottle of vanilla?
I walked to the basement and began sifting through kitchen boxes. After finding other items I had previously needed--Equal, toddler containers, plastic bags, etc.--I realized that I had been through all of the "kitchen, dry goods" boxes. I had probably sifted through about ten boxes and still didn't have any vanilla.
In the meantime, Big M was awake and screaming at the top of his lungs. I'd better rush upstairs so he doesn't wake Little m. Big M was wide awake and hungry. I changed his diaper and prepared him a snack. Shortly thereafter Little m awoke. Time for another diaper change and a feeding. So much for making cookies.
An hour later and I am hoping to run to the store for vanilla. Time to load up the kids and be on my way. If I'm lucky, I will get back in time to make the cookies, pump milk for Little m, and possibly get myself ready for the evening. Here's to wishful thinking. I'll let you know how it all pans out for me. Stay tuned!
In addition to a vanilla quote, I am sharing a sound clip:
"I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla [expletive] things. You know, whatever you want, some vanilla [expletive] latte cappa thing. Whatever you got."
-Larry David
Source: http://www.famousquotesabout.com/on/Vanilla#ixzz1Hdk2g094
What Up Vanilla Face Sound Clip and Quote
I plan to bring cookies. Nursing a baby always leaves me craving sweets, so I might as well bring enough to share. Never go to someone's home empty handed, right?
One of the simplest cookies to make is no bake cookies. There are about eight ingredients and no baking required. In addition, it contains two of my favorite ingredients: chocolate and oatmeal.
The boys were sleeping, so now was the time to make the cookies. I removed the butter from the fridge to soften (an ideal trick for successful baking) and then proceeded to lay out the other ingredients. Then came the vanilla. I hadn't yet found the vanilla among the multitude of boxes in the basement. How hard could it be to find a bottle of vanilla?
I walked to the basement and began sifting through kitchen boxes. After finding other items I had previously needed--Equal, toddler containers, plastic bags, etc.--I realized that I had been through all of the "kitchen, dry goods" boxes. I had probably sifted through about ten boxes and still didn't have any vanilla.
In the meantime, Big M was awake and screaming at the top of his lungs. I'd better rush upstairs so he doesn't wake Little m. Big M was wide awake and hungry. I changed his diaper and prepared him a snack. Shortly thereafter Little m awoke. Time for another diaper change and a feeding. So much for making cookies.
An hour later and I am hoping to run to the store for vanilla. Time to load up the kids and be on my way. If I'm lucky, I will get back in time to make the cookies, pump milk for Little m, and possibly get myself ready for the evening. Here's to wishful thinking. I'll let you know how it all pans out for me. Stay tuned!
In addition to a vanilla quote, I am sharing a sound clip:
"I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla [expletive] things. You know, whatever you want, some vanilla [expletive] latte cappa thing. Whatever you got."
-Larry David
Source: http://www.famousquotesabout.com/on/Vanilla#ixzz1Hdk2g094
What Up Vanilla Face Sound Clip and Quote
Saturday, March 12, 2011
More Chocolate
Big M was invited to a birthday party today. It was his friend's third birthday. The theme was Caillou. M had so much fun!
We arrived to a parade. Everyone was dressed in a costume. M played pin the tail on Gilbert (Caillou's cat). The birthday boy's mom is a teacher by training, so she had lots of fun activities planned for the kids.
It was so cute to watch the kids eat their cupcakes. There was a cupcake sitting in front of each kid. Watching the kids wait in anticipation as they waited for the birthday boy to blow out his candles before thy could eat their cupcakes almost looked like torture. They were almost sitting on their hands trying not to lunge at the sweet goodness sitting in front of them.
Everyone had fun at the birthday party. Little m slept through the entire thing. Big M fell asleep as soon as he got in the car. Upon waking, M opened his party favor bag and discovered M&M's. He learned that they melt in your mouth and your hand:
"There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate."
-Linda Grayson
We arrived to a parade. Everyone was dressed in a costume. M played pin the tail on Gilbert (Caillou's cat). The birthday boy's mom is a teacher by training, so she had lots of fun activities planned for the kids.
It was so cute to watch the kids eat their cupcakes. There was a cupcake sitting in front of each kid. Watching the kids wait in anticipation as they waited for the birthday boy to blow out his candles before thy could eat their cupcakes almost looked like torture. They were almost sitting on their hands trying not to lunge at the sweet goodness sitting in front of them.
Everyone had fun at the birthday party. Little m slept through the entire thing. Big M fell asleep as soon as he got in the car. Upon waking, M opened his party favor bag and discovered M&M's. He learned that they melt in your mouth and your hand:
-Linda Grayson
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